Remaining moment of life is bliss


My parents were married for 48 years until my mom passed away. Some of the things I noticed about my parents, and the people of their generation, versus the people today:

1) They put their family above their self-interests.

Once you’re married, it’s no longer about you as an individual, but the family - especially the kids. All the decisions they made, they had their kids in their minds.

A lot of modern parents failed at this one badly. They put their self importance above their family. If you think having a family is going to get on your way, please consider not having one - at least, pity those innocent children who will have to suffer because of your selfishness.

Don’t get me wrong, being a child to a broken relationship is not fun. I know this extremely well.

2) They had their ups and downs, but they stick together.

Love is not a very good enough reason to get married to someone. Especially if you’re the kind of person who will only love someone during the ups, or get bored easily.

I have seen with my own eyes how couples decided to get married because of something called love, just for it to fall apart later on.

Love doesn’t put food on the table.
Love doesn’t pay the bills.

Until my brothers and sisters were able to help my parents, my dad was working 2-3 jobs, and 95% of his salary went to my mom, so that she could feed her children etc.

When you’re married to someone, you must be willing to sacrifice, you must be willing to go through the hell on earth together, and that takes more than love - especially when you have kids.

A lot of people today get married even when they know they can’t afford to build a family, but they’re too blind to see it, because love is illogical. This is probably the reason why many of them failed to stick together when life takes a downturn.

3) They agreed to disagree, even if they didn’t say it.

Like any normal husband and wife, once in a while, they would argue with each other (But it’s something extremely rare, and normally because of their children - especially the rebellious me).

But I don’t remember them lasted more than a couple of minutes at most. It usually ended with one of them say “I surrender”, and just moved on to do his/her work, or they both kept quiet. Then, everything was normal again.

This is unlike the couple which I had the misfortune of having them as my neighbours, where both the husband and wife would keep raising their voice and simply didn’t know how to stop, even when their little child started to cry.

4) Marriage is a big deal, and the word ‘divorce’ was kinda taboo.

In other words, they would do everything they could not to let that happen to them. It’s embarrassing, and it’s like going to war - regardless who is right, both are losers. It means they have failed at something big in life. They don’t just throw away when they ‘no longer love each other’ or ‘or no longer get along’, like many of the couples these days - because that’s something very silly, especially when you have kids. They would try to fix everything, unless it’s really unfixable.

I have never been married before, nor have I ever been in any sort of relationship for a very long time. But I can assure you, I have seen how other people marriage fall apart with my own eyes closely enough, to know what I am talking about - heck, probably one of the reasons why I don’t miss being in relationship as much as I would like to.


life not that simple

found an interesting opinion from my friend:

Let see, you are 26, and you just bought a new house, even though it was only last year you bought a new car. Your salary is about 5K, which itself is not much in KL these days. You go out to party every weekend, You buy new clothes every month.

The good news is, you have enough for the typical women in Malaysia to consider going out with you, and good enough for their parents to approve your relationship - you own a car, and a house. I’ll give you a high five for that.

The bad news is, your company is struggling, you are having problems saving money, and both the car and the house you bought are not really yours - they still belong to your banks, and the bankers can be very mean. Yup, you’re pretty screwed here.

But you shouldn’t be complaining, my friend. You wanted a new car, you got that. You wanted a new house, you also got that. So why are you complaining, when you’re the one who put yourself into it? Oh wait, you never thought that you would end up there, right? Oh well, a lesson for you then, my friend - life is not that simple.

I don’t own a car, nor a house, even though I can easily afford those.

Many of us have been brainwashed into thinking buying a house is a sign of stability, a necessity. This mentality is not only dangerous, but one of the reasons why so many people have to file bankruptcy when they’re just in their 20s.

Right now is a very bad time to buy a house, both to live, or as an investment. Everything is extremely overpriced due to the number of speculators in the market etc - I don’t see any reason why anyone would pay 2-4 times more than what they should. But maybe they know something which I don’t.

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